Cutlines

March 12 2002

In the news today:

Serbian Prime Minister Assassinated;

Germany Opposes Allies;

War Imminent

        -- Bush: "Let's Party Like It's 1914"

Largest Conventional Bomb Dropped in Florida Test

        -- Rumsfeld: Will Keep Bombing Florida Until Iraq Surrenders

Texas Set for 300th Execution

        -- Convict Receives Commemorative Set of Steak Knives

U.S., Pakistan Deny Bin Laden Captured

        -- Insist New Prisoner is "Osama bin Johnson"

Washington: U.S. Would Accept Short Extension of Iraq Deadline

        -- Hussein Must Now Have Weapons of Mass Destruction Back by 9:30 or Be Grounded

Taking the 'French' Out of Capitol Hill Fries

        -- Saddam Renames Iraqi Fries "Scud Spuds"

How Iraqis are Preparing for Possible War

        -- 1. Throw Down Gun; 2. Open MRE; 3. So This Is Guantanamo

Military to Clamp Down on E-Mail

        -- Generals Say Soldiers' Body Parts Large Enough, Mortgage Rates Good

Britain Sets Six Conditions for Iraq to Avoid War

        -- 3. Must Immediately Warm All Beer; 4. Hussein Must Shave Mustache, Grow Moustache

Paying Iraqi Bureaucrats Is Part Of U.S. Plan to Rebuild Country

        -- Democrats Insist They Be Unionized

That's all for today.